Writing the first post on a new blog feels a little bit like going to a party where you don’t know any of the other guests.
You don’t really know what to say, you’re under pressure to avoid making a dick of yourself and, if you’re me, you just end up telling total strangers inappropriately intimate details about your life to fill the awkward silences that permeate the atmosphere when all the usual small talk has been exhausted.
That’s why it helps to be drunk. But not too drunk.
Unfortunately, this girl doesn’t do things by halves, so chances are that if you ever come across me in a social situation, I will introduce myself by telling you about that time my dad smacked me for pretending to be a dog and licking a man’s boots at our front door, and then, a few hours later, I’ll be forcing you to join me in a drunk interpretive dance routine to Cher’s Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.
It’s just how I roll. And also possibly why nobody will grant me the gift of children. Which I desperately want. And then, five minutes later, vow never to have at all in my life.
You see, the title of this blog Wary, Contrary and No Virgin Mary as well as rhyming in a delightful manner, also sums up my personality.
I love when that happens.
I am terrified of: decision making, the future, financial purchases, making appointments and, lately, the way the internet feels a lot like I’ve moved from a small town I know well to a giant city in another country where I don’t know the language or my way around and what’s with kids these days and their hip hop music?
On the flipside, the moment I finally make a decision, I will then do the opposite. My fear of financial purchases mostly pertains to getting my hair cut or buying new shoes; I can’t justify spending that money, but I have no problem buying scrapbooking supplies on eBay, even though I’ve never once done any scrapbooking.
It’s been a long time since I dropped my words onto the internet floor for strangers to stumble over but just lately I have noticed that my Incredibly Bad Habit of voicing my entire thought process aloud has begun to wear on my loved ones, cats included.
So here I am again, hoping that by throwing my thoughts at the internet, there won’t be quite as many left by the time I get back home to my family*.
*indicates a lie.