Get in mah belleh

Sometimes there’s a real disconnect that goes on between the brain and the body, when just one too many things pile on top of each other.

That’s roughly where I’m at this week, after returning to work and the avalanche of shit that comes from an understaffed department that has multiple simultaneous deadlines, as well as support you’d relied on just… not showing up.

Stress is most definitely the order of the day in my world right now, and I’m having great difficulty doing all the things I should be doing to at least minimise the harm it is having on my body – I can’t change the situation, but I could at least help it, if I were able to eat, or sleep.

This is, I feel, one of those times where it’s perfectly okay for me to be taking one of those over-the-counter sleeping pills, even though I will be muddy in the head the next morning. It won’t be any worse than the way I start my day now – airy in the head, all light and slow and stupid and ready to break at the first sign of pressure.

5kg down in a week, and no appetite to speak of. Here’s hoping that finishing work on time today, cooking a healthy meal and finally drowning in sleep for a night will reset some of the changes that have happened to my body.

This was an accidental anorexia week – my usual way of losing weight. It’s been a diet of cigarettes and stomach acid. Tasty as fuck, but most definitely not required right now.

It wasn’t exactly the plan for this week and I’d really rather not have to go and buy new clothes again.ย The Target Kids’ Section doesn’t have anything I like there right now.

… now to decide what to actually cook.

… that I will actually eat.


6 thoughts on “Get in mah belleh

  1. Do you take advice?
    If you do start off making a list of everything you need to do, include work and home.
    Then work thought the tasks mix the quick wins and slow burners.
    Your day should be split into 3 sections 8 hours at work but focus on work, 8 hours of sleep and the other 8 hours should be you time.

    Worked for me, might work for you too!

    • Hey, thanks for stopping by and for your advice ๐Ÿ™‚

      Unfortunately the nature of my work means that it’s usually impossible to plan my day too much.

      What I could adopt, however, is your philosophy of the 8 hrs sleep, 8 hrs me-time and to make a list of everything that I need to do.

      I think I am always at a loose end because I never know where to start…

      Thanks, workingdad! This could be exactly what I need ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. They are right about the list. It does help. Also some form of physical exertion helps. Sit ups. A brisk walk.Even sitting outside helps.Sleep deprivation and loss of appetite are the enemy when you are depressed. I know that when Trey disappeared I went from 212lbs to 168 in 30 days.Nine months later I spent 30 days in the hospital. but remember what I told you. You are not alone!

    • Thanks Ed,

      I’m trying to make sure I eat, even when it makes me feel like throwing up – my stomach has shrunk so much that I get full super quick…

      The sleeping pill thing didn’t work out so well, with it .. not actually working for the first time in the history of me using them, so I’m really lethargic today – mind you, it’s been a big week and it’s not over yet!

      Thanks for your kind words and your support ๐Ÿ™‚

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