something more than this; something more than me

Where do you escape to, when you are using your recent past as a refuge from a future you are terrified to face?

When you can’t hold on
to who you are;
who you always thought you were.

who won that round?

what happens
when you become

everything that hurt

and tore

and ripped at you.

when you became everything that destroyed you in the first place.

where can you go?
when you helped destroy everything you’ve ever wanted.

 

 

 

just further inside, baby.

you just gotta go further inside.

to where you really are.
all alone.
in those dark and scary places.
those places you’ve never been.
those places you’re meant to walk alone.

that’s where.

you’ll find

who

 

you are.

…. or if not who you are…

maybe,

 

who you want to be.

and you’ll still be sorry for the hearts your feet walked across. but you won’t let any of it be for nothing.

you will be.

simply,

you will be.

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2 thoughts on “something more than this; something more than me

    • Here, I finally realised that I need to stop focussing all my energy around all the things I’m not, all the things I don’t or won’t have, and instead, just allow myself to be whoever the hell I am.

      Time to stop worrying about every tiny little thing, and just start being.

      The ending may turn out to be a terrible one, but I don’t really care. It’s been pretty horrible trapping myself inside my little worry bubble. Maybe now I’ll try and blend those two extremes? 😛

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