Well, it appears I can’t sustain rage like I used to.
A few hours in the red room, listening to some blackmetal and I’d exhausted myself.
For someone whose mental illness manifested in hours of imaginary conversations where I always came out the victor (or at least didn’t have my arguments invalidated), it’s really quite strange to realise that that sort of self-therapy no longer works for me.
I know I was just complaining that mental health is a weird place for me to exist, but after that very quick glimpse at the person I used to be on a constant basis, I’m certainly happier living in a world without that chaos.
Besides, how can you really stay angry when you have a daughter who is going through a phase of smiling whilst screwing her nose up and blowing air out of it?