Sleepwalking

This acoustic version of Sleepwalking reminds me of the hours and hours I spent alone in my Melbourne apartment, writing, drinking, freezing, singing, crying, hating, loving – feeling terrified, empowered, and lonely. At the time, I was numb to all of it. Those emotions were ripples across my surface – except the loneliness – I […]

Reason #458973 as to why I am trying not to drink. Also – this if a family warning. Do not read this if we are related. Trust me. You don’t want to know this shit.

Sharing drunken war wounds with Darbiel, the Sunshine Angel, I was reminded of that one time that I scared a man out of my apartment. It was during Melbourne Whore Week, a week spent with a fellow wordpress blogger who shall remain anonymous unless she chooses to reveal herself, where we were stoned, drunk and/or […]

The wounded flies

“I didn’t know how to buy underwear”, Jack smiled, from the bar stool beside me. His hands were grease-blackened from decades spent beneath the body of a jacked up car. The grease had pooled in the wrinkles that deepened over the years, and with Mabel gone the way she went, well, sometimes he might forget […]

Giving wings to this burden

“So what is it about drinking that makes you not want to stop?” asked my mental health nurse, today. I had to think about it for awhile. “I have no sense of time”, I replied. “When I’m boozed, every moment is just that: a moment. Every booze night is nothing but a series of NOW […]

Reluctantly, the gloves come off

It’s a difficult place, the one I’m in right now. Counselling allows you to unlock the door of the cage you’ve stashed all your hard times in. Like an overstuffed cupboard, the moment you start pulling pieces out, the rest of them tumble all over you, smacking you in the face and piling up at […]

Guilty of being me

Well, it was inevitable. The highs always hand you over to the lows and the lows are full of little papercut lies that scratch at your surface and worm their way inside. The more often you let them in, the more they become a part of you. Last night was fun and as far as […]

Caught a glimpse of your heart

I’ve always loved the safety of the internet. The fact that the people who read what you say can’t quite touch you, or reach in and make demands of you. On a face-to-face basis, I don’t do so well with people. I talk openly about the most inappropriate or personal of topics, but I don’t […]

There’s no place like home

One sip in and the tunnel vision begins. My eyes involuntarily glaze over as I let my body enjoy coming home;  a blank Word Doc in front of me, sing-along-metal, my alcohol and me. The glass feels heavy in my unsteady hand. My last sip still lingers on my lips as I take another and […]